I never believe what I don’t want – Friday Fiction

September 26, 2014 #fridayfiction 0

I never believe what I don’t want – Friday Fiction

I never believe what I don’t want to be true. I fool myself into thinking
something will change. The truth could walk up and smack me in the
face, and I still wouldn’t recognize it. I pushed the possibility of
moving aside and told myself Clay would never do something like that.
But that was before I heard the determination in his voice. Now I know
he’s set on doing it. He’s so preoccupied with looking across the
horizon that he’s lost sight of what’s right here in front of him.

For Clay, Florida is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But
the reality is a rainbow has no end. It’s just a patch of promise in the
sky. At times it looks close enough that you think you can chase it
down. But if you try that rainbow disappears as quickly as it came, and
you’re left with nothing. I know, because my daddy spent his life
chasing rainbows, and when he died all he left behind was an angry
wife and an orphaned daughter.

After all our years of being together, I thought Clay would have a
better feeling for what’s inside my heart. I never want to leave here.
It’s the only place I’ve ever truly belonged. It’s not the biggest house
or the fanciest house, but it’s our house. I love having the kids close
enough to hug, having a granddaughter whose eyes light up when she
sees me. I love having my friends close by and being part of their lives,
just as they’re part of mine.

Yes, I love Clay too. But why should loving him mean that I have
to give up all the other things in my life?

Maybe Billie is right. Maybe it’s time for me to face up to the
truth.

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