You can say a thousand times – #fridayfiction

[mybooktable book=”passing-perfect”]

You can say a thousand times – #fridayfiction

You can say a thousand times from Sunday Mama dying ain’t my fault, but I know better. Me asking her to sneak around Daddy to come and see Isaac broke her heart. Broke it the same as if I stomped on it with my two bare feet. Mama loved me; I know she did. How can any mama not love her own child? Long as I was happy with just getting letters Mama could be happy for me, but when I started wanting more than she could give, her heart started fighting against itself. Mama’s heart wanted to come see her grandson, but her body had to do what Daddy said.

The sorry truth is Mama’s never been a strong-willed woman. I ain’t laying no blame, ’cause I seen the mean-spirited side of Daddy and it’s enough to make anybody fearful. He’d be sweet as pie long as Mama was doing what he wanted , but the minute she went up against him he’d start in saying the Lord would smite her dead for such a thing . It didn’t matter what she was doing, Daddy’d come up with a Bible verse claiming it was a sin. Even for a woman staunch as a brick wall, it’s impossible to go up against a man who claims he’s got the Lord on his side.

Losing your mama leaves a hole in your heart that’s never gonna be healed. You got one mama, and once she’s gone you ain’t never gonna get another one. I want to be forgiving of Daddy, but the truth is it’s real hard. I keep arguing inside myself. One minute I’m ready to crawl on my hands and knees asking him for forgiveness, then the next minute I’m hating him all over again ’cause of the heartache he’s given Mama and me.

The saddest part of all this is that I keep wishing I could talk to Mama one last time. I’d ask her how I’m supposed to get over all this hurt. Knowing Mama, she’d have just the right words for answering.

I know I’m a growed-up woman with a child of my own, but Lord God how I do miss Mama.

About the author

Bette Lee Crosby

USA Today Bestselling and Award-winning novelist Bette Lee Crosby's books are "Well-crafted storytelling populated by memorable characters caught up in equally memorable circumstances." - Midwest Book Review The Seattle Post Intelligencer says Crosby's writing is, "A quirky mix of Southern flair, serious thoughts about important things in life and madcap adventures." Samantha from Reader's Favorite raves, "Crosby writes the type of book you can't stop thinking about long after you put it down." "Storytelling is in my blood," Crosby laughingly admits, "My mom was not a writer, but she was a captivating storyteller, so I find myself using bits and pieces of her voice in most everything I write." It is the wit and wisdom of that Southern Mama Crosby brings to her works of fiction; the result is a delightful blend of humor, mystery and romance along with a cast of quirky charters who will steal your heart away. Her work was first recognized in 2006 when she received The National League of American Pen Women Award for a then unpublished manuscript. She has since gone on to win nineteen awards for her work; these include: TheRoyal Palm Literary Award, the FPA President's Book Award Gold Medal, Reader's Favorite Award Gold Medal, and the Reviewer's Choice Award.

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