Wouldn’t it be great if there was a National holiday just for NOT doing something. A day where you can rest from NOT doing something you did all the time. Maybe you don’t even like it all that much. Something like NOT doing housework.
Oh wait! There IS such a day!
Leave it to us to have a National holiday for pretty much everything. National No Housework Day was created by Thomas and Ruth Roy. It’s celebrated every April 7th. Even though it used to be harder, housework is still no joke. It’s hard labor even with all the cleaning gadgets we have now.
Here’s a nice list of ideas on how NOT to do housework on April 7th and do anything else instead. Enjoy!
Leave dirty clothes laying around.
Tape dishwasher shut with duct tape.
Tape NO HOUSEWORK signs all over the house.
Shout I’M ON STRIKE whenever someone enters the room.
Post the same status on Facebook.
Post the same status on Twitter.
Pin pins on Pinterest that have nothing to do with cleaning hacks.
Humble brag on social media about not doing housework all day.
Strategically cover couch crumbs with couch blanket.
Deliberately make a mess then…
Refuse to clean it up.
Mime riding a broom like a witch.
Re-brew coffee using old coffee grounds and force self to drink it.
Cleverly reuse coffee grounds to scrub face.
Lay on the floor.
Lay on the bed.
Lay on the porch.
Lay in the bath.
Take a shower until the water runs cold.
Sit on the porch.
Sit on the couch.
Sit at the table.
Sit on the stairs.
Sit on the toilet.
Leave dishes in the sink.
Switch roles with the kids.
Get a foot massage.
Get a back rub.
Get a pedicure.
Get your hair done.
Get your nails done.
Don’t wipe up the crumbs.
Eat all the old food in the fridge.
Eat all the old snacks in the cabinet.
Drink all the beer.
Drink all the wine.
Drink a martini.
Drink exclusively out of paper cups.
Smoke a celebratory cigar.
Refuse to make dinner.
Refuse to look for takeout menus in the junk drawer.
Let someone else order takeout.
Instagram pictures of your takeout.
Refuse to clean up after dinner.
Instagram pictures of your dirty sink.
Use #nohouseworkday a lot.
Designate a trash pile in the living room.
Roll eyes a lot.
Pretend you have lost your hearing.
Pretend you are narcoleptic.
Wear sunglasses all day long.
Binge-watch reality TV on DVR.
Binge-watch HBO Go.
Read a Kindle.
Read a book.
Read a magazine.
Write a screenplay.
Write book reviews online.
Have a backyard picnic.
Drink coffee on the porch.
Go back to bed.
Go to the movies.
Go to the mall.
Learn to twerk.
Walk aimlessly around the block.
Browse Internet on your smartphone.
Research getting a tattoo.
Change your mind.
Ask yourself what it’s all for.
Go back to bed.
Spray kids with hose at bath time.
Wear sturdy shoes to walk over toys on the floor.
Let kids play in water on the kitchen floor and call it “mopping.”
Pay your significant other $50 to clean the house.
Create a Google Chore Chart to divide up housework for the rest of the year.